Should You Try to Join the Mile High Club on a Commercial Flight?

All flight attendants are members of the mile high club, right? Well…no… But I’m sure we all have thought about it, or at the very least, we all have stories about others who have.

Joining the mile high club might seem like a bucket list item, but getting it on in the lavatory of a commercial flight is anything but sexy.

But should you try it anyway? You can decide for yourself, but here is some food for thought.

How to Join the Mile High Club on a Commercial Flight

Okay, so you want to join the mile high club on a commercial flight, but how exactly should you go about it?

Before I get into the logistics, let’s get one thing clear. I, personally, think the options for joining the mile high club on a commercial flight are all bad, but I figured I should share what I know other people have tried.

➡️ In plane sight

Yes, I made a pun. But, seriously, for the boldest and bravest among us, there is the in-plane-sight option, which involves trying to do it in your seats without anyone noticing.

Disclaimer: this is definitely illegal.

Real life attempt: On a night flight my friend was working from god-knows-where to Las Vegas (of course it was Vegas), two passengers were caught bumping uglies right out in the open. The woman had straddled the man’s lap and was bouncing up and down facing him.

They got caught because the flight attendants thought it was weird that someone was sitting backwards when they could see her face from the back galley, and when they noticed she was bouncing despite a smooth flight, they put two-and-two together.

➡️ Bathroom sex

The most popular route is to sneak off to the lavatory and get it on. To pull this off, you have to be able to find a lavatory large enough to fit two adults inside at the same time. And you have to be able to sneak in without noticing.

While theoretically, there aren’t any laws prohibiting consenting adults from joining the mile high club in an airplane lavatory… It is good to keep in mind that you might still get caught. Which would be embarrassing.

Real life attempt: I am sure there are plenty of couples who successfully join the mile high club in an aircraft lavatory, but the stories that are passed along on the jumpseat are always about those who get caught, and they are always hilarious!

For example:

One couple got caught because they accidentally bumped the flight attendant call bell and didn’t realize it.
Another pair were caught because someone got sick of waiting for their turn and banged on the door and asked the flight attendant to check.
And perhaps most spectacular of all, another couple fell out of the lavatory in the throes of passion because they accidentally put too much weight on the lavatory door and broke the lock.

➡️ Crew Rest

This option isn’t really open to passengers unless you’re dating a pilot or flight attendant. But I know inter-crew hook-ups go down in the crew rest bunks pretty regularly.

Disclaimer: Please, for the love of all that is holy, don’t proposition flight attendants in order to try to join the mile high club this way. The days of coffee, tea, or me are in the past.

Real life attempt (success?): I learned early on in my career that the pilots’ crew rest area is a favorite place to go for a quickie while on break when a couple came down the ladder looking more than a little disheveled.

I had just been sitting on my jumpseat eating some leftover catering when they tried to sneak out. But of course, my lips are sealed(ish). I won’t name names!

The Not-So Sexy Side of Joining the Mile High Club

So now that I have given you some sense of how people have tried, and failed, to join the mile high club on a commercial flight, I will do my due diligence as a flight attendant and give you a few other reasons to think twice about doing the dirty in an airplane lavatory.

‼️ It’s gross

No, really, it’s nasty, and I’m not talking about the act itself. Airplane lavatories are not disinfected very well or with any regularity, so they are dripping with bacteria and viruses.

It would seem to me that romping in the lav might be a good way to get an infection where the sun don’t shine, and that’s so not sexy.

‼️ It’s not safe

I’m not talking about using protection. I’m talking about getting tossed around by turbulence.

Having heard horror stories from a former paramedic, I know it is possible for certain appendages to break inside another person’s body parts and end up getting stuck. How embarrassing would it be for you if you had to be pulled out of the lavatory, joined at the hip with your lover because turbulence did you harder than you intended to do your partner? Pretty mortifying I think.

‼️ It’s not entirely legal

Having sex in the airplane cabin is definitely illegal and if you are caught, you could end up on some unpleasant lists, like the No-fly list and the registered sex offenders list, to name the biggies.

If you get caught hooking up in the lavatory, you may not face criminal charges, but you will probably still end up banned from the airline you were flying if the crew is annoyed enough to report you.

And for my promiscuous crew members out there, getting caught having a sneaky link in the crew rest will get you fired if management finds out about it.

So it’s most likely not worth the risk in any of these situations… And that is why you should not try to join the mile high club on a commercial flight.